Not A Fortune

I'm not usually one to argue but when it's a matter of my future, I take things a little more seriously. I eat chinese food. I started out eating chinese food not for the noodle soups or woked bok choy or heaping portions of ginger but becuase at the end of each meal you are promised a fortune. Gradually, I began to appreciate food and I started to eat chinese food not for the fortunes but for the orange glazed duck and for the whole steamed sea bass and for the dim sum. The fortunes came and went. Lately though, the fortunes haven't been fortunes at all. Let's take tonights cookie. "A wise man knows everything a shrewd one, everbody." Sure, that's great advice but it doesn't lie in the realm of fortune.

A fortune at the end of a good chinese meal is a plus but not a requisite...it's not that I even take fortunes from a cookie seriously...although I did at one point...for six years until I was 12 I kept a little sliver of paper in my back left pocket reading "You will be unusually successful in business." It never came true. And do I hold that against the cookie? No. What I do however hold against the cookie is its blatent misrepresentation to the world. Take some of these "fortunes" i've received in the past year.

- "The night life is for you." I recieved this fortune at a buffet somewhere in Ohio about a year an a half ago...I let this one slide. After this, they went downhill.

- "Whatever the mind of a man can conceive and believe, it can achieve." I don't think so

- "Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst." Thanks

- "A kiss can beautiful souls, hearts, and thoughts." This doesn't even mean anything

- "You are sociable and entertainig." Flattery doesn't work buddy

- "You are talented in many ways." Still not working

- "Never bring unhappy feelings into your home." I wouldn't have to if this had been a fortune

- "Try a new system or different approach." I'm gonna let this slide too. It's not a fortune...but it's a little more specific in a general sort of way.

- "Diligence and modesty can raise your social status." I'm pretty sure this is just plain false

- "You need only to understand that it is not necessary ti understand but only enjoy." Ti?

- "It is time for you to explore all those new interests." That's a demanding cookie

- "The road to knowledge begins with the turn of the page." There was nothing on the back

To be fair, I did recieve some actual fortunes:

- "You simplify your life in many ways and find great rewards." Didn't happen, but at least it's a fortune

- "A golden egg of opportunity falls into your lap this month." Also didn't happen.

- "Your present plans are going to succeed." I have no plans.