Year Of The Pig

In the past year I have eaten more swine than in my entire life combined. Maybe i'll go to hell or maybe there isn't even a god but one thing's for sure, I can't seem to stop. Yesterday, I had my first cuban sandwich. Later that day, pork dumplings. A few weeks ago it was several slices of bacon and Boars Head ham...and just last week it was Pozole, pork stew made with hominy. I have yet to eat a ham and cheese sandwich...that is, the final frontier.

I Suppose

Katie Schorr tagged me on her blog...so here are 5 things some people don't know about me.

1) My biggest pet peeve, public nail clipping. I think It's the actual clipping sound that bothers me more than anything else. Second biggest pet peeve, people trying to have conversations with me while i'm watching Seinfeld.

2) I'm painfully aware when someone repeats a story to me. I don't like doing this myself and in conversation i'll compulsively ask whether i've already told people what i'm about to tell them. If I happen to be listening to a story i've already heard, I'll say nothing and will probably seem even more engaged.

3) I can become passive agressive with friends. I'm currently working on this. (hopefully this is something you don't know about me)

4) I have a third nipple...just the third one though, not the first two. no, seriously it's below my right nipple. apparently, this "affliction" is commonly associated with kidney problems which i may or may not have...more likely than not though seeing as i have high blood pressure...additionally, on the health front, i'm alergic to myself (i have a positive ANA).

5) Can't remember the last time I shed a tear. I can remember the last time I wanted to though. I was watching the movie My Architect. For some reason, that documentary is extremely moving.

I Know

While riding the 2,3 back home a man got up in order to hit on a woman across the aisle. On his way over to the girl, he called a "seat check"...as if we weren't on a subway in NYC but rather stoping for lunch at Burger King on a road trip with his four best friend coming home from Panama city during spring break. That isn't "your" seat buddy, it's "a" seat that you happen be sitting in. So anyway, the douche bag unsuccessfully obtains the girls number and as he returns to "his" seat he finds a man occupying it. Still blind to the fact that he doesn't actually obtain any right to this seat he asks the man to leave and explains that he called a "seat check." The most sacred of social laws. For a complete list "seat check" rules go to www.seatcheck.com.

I Think I Was Right

I was sitting, drinking coffee, stairing out a window when a man stumbled by holding up his right hand. In it, he was grasping a napkin soaked in blood. I was alarmed and confused and my first reaction was to think about helping him. So I slowly reached for my cell phone, reasoning that I myself would most likely be of no help. Leave this to the professionals. Just then he stopped walking and reached into his pocket with the only hand he had left, his left hand.. OK I thought, he's probably going to make the call himself. I put my phone away and watched intently. Instead of a cell phone though he removes a cigarette and lighter. As I watched the bleeding man clumsily light his cigarrette I decided that if he didn't deem this an emergency, why should I, so I went back to sitting, drinking coffee, stairing out the window.

BRASIL

I have only one complaint. The napkins. Brasil must get their napkins whole sale from some generic distributor. It's as if they're made of wax paper. Wax paper is not absorbant.

Everything else was great. And Charles was a highlight. Charles is a geologist. Charles is small and scared of...most everything, avoid! avoid! avoid! is his mantra, he sprinkles it liberally over most sentances and especially in referance to street vendors, scantaly clad women, his government, and speaking Portugese. Charles was the man Lev met on the Bolivian salt flats and Charles was the man who took us through the cities of Paraty (pronounced Parachi) and Rio (pronounced Hio).

Highlights of my trip in no particular order.
1) The friendly TAM Air agent who insited I take vouchers for a hotel room and food in compensation for a 12 hour delayed flight. She was very pretty. I took the vouchers but slept in the airport and didn't eat.
2) The Churrascaria we finally found in Ipanema. All the meat you could ever eat.
3) Our "home-cooked" meal in Florianopolis. We somehow bought baking soda instead of salt and corriander instead of black peper. It was a delicious pasta dinner.
4) Guarana. The most best soft drink on planet Earth
5) Conversations about movies, business, ethics, women and food with Lev, Sam and Garett
6) The Brazilian healthcare system. IT'S FREE!!
7) A class of Argentinian school girls visiting Iguazu Falls the same day we did. Proof that not only there is a god but he's very horny.